Who says that ‘KI MARD KO DARD NAHI HOTA’?
We have often read or heard the news of a female got abused by a man. But have you ever rarely heard about Men abuse? Yes! It happens. If I overview the NCRB report every One male among six males have suffered from such misconduct. Misconceptions that the female is being exploited and harassed by the men are still prevailing in the society but there’s even a lot to think about this too. Initially, our mothers taught that Girls have to be safe, they should not fall prey to nay monster waiting out. But now things have been changed there is a concern for your daughter and son too!
Let’s ask some questions to you! What if one of your male friends comes to you and says that he was raped? What would be your expression? But that’s true. Men in India have been taught from an early stage that you are the superior one and hence they cannot express their grieve. Two days back, I saw a 7 – 8-year-old boy who was crying near a bus stop when asked by his mother he told that one of his friend Riya slapped him and snatched his pencil. Imagine the reactive dialogue of his mother. She said “Ladki se maar khaakar Aaya hai tu, aur ro bhi rha hai tu,! What was she trying to convey that only weak boys or men readily get walloped by a female? Yes! Here we commit a mistake by teaching this to our sons, so ever in life when they face such a situation they do not open up, as they feel that it would be an insult for them!
I heard my neighbouring aunt reprimanding her 18 years old son that ‘Kya hamesha ladkiyon jaisa rota rehta hai, ladke rote nahi”. Wow! Salute to all the aunties of Indian society! So I just imagine that ‘Is she trying to say that Crying is the natural right only for women,! So shall I assume that in a man’s life, the grieving part is deducted? Like why this convention that boys don’t cry is still prevailing in the society? Even men have emotions, it’s all fine if they cry, crying cleanses the toxins of mental health and freshens you.
Men abuse majorly happens when there exists an abusive relationship among partners. Some believe that men are more sensitive to emotional abuse than woman and can “brush off” physical abuse more easily. Male victims of emotional abuse who are called a “coward,” “impotent,” or a “failure,” may be more affected by these remarks than their female counterparts. Emotionally when men are abused they experience a kind of depression and they fail to open up the facts. The behaviour of women in order to cause harm to the men includes Falsely accusing or threatening to accuse a man of assault on them or their children, Threatening to take away custody of the children, Threatening to kill themselves or others, Making the man feel like “he’s crazy”, Minimizing the abuse; blaming the victim of the abuse, Playing mind games and Making the man feel guilty. But the fact is the men cannot express their grieve. The reason for staying in such an abusive relationships for men is basically the toll that emotional abuse can take on a man’s self-worth. He may not believe he is worthy enough to leave the relationship or he may believe he deserves the emotional abuse. And the status in the society will be declined. There are many examples where men have gathered the courage to speak up and fought for their rights.
Second is Dowry! Dowry is a curse for the Indian society. But if I see the records, along with actual Dowry cases, there is a sharp increase in the false cases of dowry where the women register her in-laws under false dowry trail. Because of many people for just recovering the wedding expenses along with some more money, bride’s family lodge a false complaint. Anti-dowry law should shield the husbands too, because initially once the suit was lodged without giving any chance to respondents, the respondents were dragged in the court. As we know, our constitution proffers the basic right to be Heard. Everyone has the right to express his/ her view. So similarly a respondent has the right to express his side of inference. In many cases in India, it is espied that the respondents are immaculate and an untenable case is lodged and undoubtedly they languish punishment. Shielding husbands under anti-dowry cases will be a wallop for those women who think these laws are a tool of extortion and blackmail. Women raise their voice against harassment but men find rising against harassment as an afflict on their manhood. Our Indian mindset has considered women as the weakest one, commonly termed, abla naari. But as some of the Male advocates assert that the laws for the protection of men against such harassment are very weak. Always the mistake cannot be from the side of male comradeship sometimes these laws become a weapon which can use for discovering huge amount in the name of alumni.
The change today we need is to think equally for both men and women in all terms and all fields. Try to understand the emotions of men too. Because of Mard ko bhi dard Hota hai
Always remember, “Guilty is not always a male, the thing we require is equality even in thinking style”.
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